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Any change or variation over a period of time brings a transformation. It could be natural , man-made, physical, spiritual, emotional, geographical, cultural, social.
Nature shows us changes that happen over a period of time. The formation of smooth pebbles from sharp stones due to action of water over the ages , weathering of rocks, changing of seasons, a larvae changing into a beautiful colourful butterfly, melting of icebergs because of global warming, metamorphosis of a zygote into a baby, a bud blossoming into a flower are some examples that happen so naturally and beautifully.
Digital Transformation can be both positive or negative. Science and technology have transformed our lifestyle to such an extent that it is just unimaginable!!
Social media and internet too have transformed the whole lifestyle. I have seen thriving businesses coming to a standstill in the past decade. Services that were so much in demand went down. The mall culture wherein everything is available under one roof is responsible . So many shopkeepers had to shut shop as they started incurring losses.
Some shops that used to be famous for wooden furniture too had to shut shop with the arrival of lightweight , dismantable options that started replacing heavy and expensive wooden furniture. With online booking of railway tickets at the press of a button from the comfort of ones home the people who were earning their living as travel/ticket agents went out of demand. I have myself gone to these travel agents when I had to buy tickets. There used to be a heavy rush in their offices.
The mobile phones have transformed our lives . A single gadget has replaced cameras, wrist watches, desktops, laptops, calendars, landline phones , calculator, television, DVD players, CD players , photo albums to name a few when it comes to material possession and even human relationships have been affected to some extent.
The current generation is very health conscious and the correct form of exercise coupled with proper nutritious diet brings about mind blowing transformation physically which of course is easier to attain than maintaining the achieved physical transformation in the long run as sustainability is the key to take it up as a lifestyle .
Childhood is the time when we are most active , bubbling with energy , stress free and with all the time in the world playing and bonding with friends . As we grow into an adult the scenario slowly changes and it is a mixture of fun and stress of a different order be it about academics, one’s looks , peer pressure, relationships, career, marriage , learning new skills , adjustments , childbirth, raising kids, taking care of elderly and the list is really long .
Especially women in India have to make lots of adjustments and for us the twists and turns of life and age sometimes makes us ponder over the uncertainity at many stages.
In the journey of life at different stages of life, there does come a time when one is not sure about the future, a fear somewhere resides in some corner of the mind, yet life goes on. One tries to do what one thinks is best at that point of time. And when ones wishes are fulfilled its a nice, beautiful feeling.
How many women can resonate well with the fact that we tend to put everyone else ‘s needs before our own . Priorities change with time with family commitments and raising kids that time just flies ahead juggling between home front and work front .The fact that when kids are a little older and need us a little less as their circle of friends widen is the time which allows us to pursue our own goals, hobbies & passions which had taken a backseat.
So just stop for a couple of minutes & think, ” what is my oxygen mask” ?
Do things that are highly energetic and reflective. Spend some time in nature and enjoy your surroundings, have a chat with a good friend , watch films, do exercise , yoga , dance , pen down your thoughts, feelings, listen to music and sing along to your favourite song, travel, read, rediscover a hobby or a creative interest , just something you enjoy wherein you are so involved that there is no room for worrying about anything else. Spread your beautiful wings and fly to all the places you wish to be.
Do what you enjoy and fly and soar up in the sky and be perched on the throne like a “Queen” and rule your life and life will open new doors for a better you.
Deepawali is just around the corner and there is a festive atmosphere around. I am reminded of how my parents would wake us up in the early hours on Naraka Chaturdashi day for the customary oil bath. We would be woken up around 4 am in the cold winter morning of October/November . Appa would have switched on the radio and would have tuned into Short Wave band for some south Indian music. The early morning celebrations would start on an auspicious note with Nadaswaram music.
Getting up in the wee hours of the morning was a big task. We are three siblings and we had a rule. As per the rule –“whoever gets up first will take bath first.” That way the other two could catch up with some extra sleep was the idea. But the question was – who would wake up first?? The solution was that whoever’s name is called out first while waking us up would have to take oil bath first and then one of us would grumble to Amma – “Why did you have to call only my name first??”
On the previous night Appa would have applied a little haldi and kumkum to the corners of the new dresses which would have been piled up on a tray . All the new clothes, sweets, savouries, crackers, homemade special herbal medicine, a big vessel smeared with little rangoli pattern , gingelly (sesame) oil would be placed in front of the God.
After waking up Amma would make us sit on a low level wooden seat and anoint our hair with warm gingelly oil. We would then go out and light a cracker/sparkler . The one whose name was called first would go for the oil bath while rest of the two would try to catch some few more winks of sleep.
Post bath Appa would give us our new dress and Amma would give us the special homemade herbal medicine in the form of a small ball . I hated it. My sister used to find it tasty. Amma would ask me to eat it fast as it helps in the digestion of all the sweets and savouries that we would be consuming for the next few days. I would find it very difficult to push it down my throat. We would wear the new clothes and seek the blessings of the elders.
Gorging on the different sweets and savouries would be fun. Phone calls to greet relatives and friends would be with “ Ganga snanam accha?”. Evening time would be spent in lighting diyas, greeting friends and exchanging sweets. Since my growing up years were in northern and western India we would save the bursting of crackers for the next day when the whole neighbourhood would be bursting crackers.
In today’s age enthusiasm is the same for celebrating and I do eagerly look forward to this festival of lights but some things have changed for me I realize.. Waking up at 4 am has shifted to a little later by 2 hours, gingelly oil has been replaced by parachute coconut oil for namesake, shikakai has been replaced with shampoo.
When it comes to sweets and snacks –it’s the shortcut as I prepare just one sweet and one savoury item as I find the deep frying chores in the kitchen immensely boring . Rest are purchased from shop. Diwali herbal medicine too is purchased ( symbolically bought if available) and the packet remains unopened for days to come, and is finally discarded one fine day. Crackers too are brought on a minimum scale now keeping in mind “green Diwali”.
Piling up new dresses on a tray with haldi and kumkum smeared in a corner and placing the sweets , savouries , Diwali herbal medicine and crackers along with the new set of clothes is something I look forward to. Its also time to bond with neighbours and friends by exchanging sweets.
What has also got added is looking forward to make a colourful rangoli apart from the traditional rangoli with rice flour and decoration with lots of marigold flowers and lamps , diyas, serial bulbs.
With my generation some things have changed, and with the next generation some more things will change. We do try to hold on to some rituals ,customs, traditions as per our convenience and the love, laughter and bonding continues to keep everyone together.
May the beauty of Deepawali season fill your home with happiness
Wishing everyone a very Happy and Joyous Deepawali
Human mind is strange, its always active like a monkey. Judging others comes easily to us. Its such an inbuilt mechanism of the thinking process that we cannot stop it. However we can limit ourselves to the extent that we don’t express our opinions and judgements openly . We should try to put ourselves in other person’s shoes first to understand them properly.
Last week during my yoga class I tried to do a new asana and somehow hurt my lower back. After coming home I realized that every movement like sitting on a chair, getting up, lying down , turning on bed was so painful . I got irritated by the sound of the calling bell when someone was at the door. I could not bend down to open the drawers in the kitchen to have an access to the food items or remove something from the refrigerator . That is when I actually realized the real pain that my mother would have experienced and how she bore the acute pain for two and half years in her right hip and the doctors just failed to diagnose her ailment properly. Every moment of her two and half years was spent in pain and because of the hip pain her mobility was affected immensely. She lost interest in life too.
My mother bore the pain and would try to lead her life and activities without depending on others as much as it was possible. Last week when I was down with pain ,the words “Walk a mile in my shoes and then you will realize how it is” kept piercing and echoing in my ears and I kept remembering my loving mother who is in no more in this world and I shed silent tears . This was on a physical level.
On a mental level in life we should never judge another person as two individuals will think differently. What governs ones mental makeup is the circumstances one is thrown into. Follow the motto of ” live and let live” and never ever be judgemental.
“Mens sana in corpore sana” is a Latin phrase which means ” a healthy mind in a healthy body” .This phrase is so self explanatory emphasising the importance of health in our daily lives.
I believe that a sound mind dwells in a sound body. Only when we are far away from ailments and physical pain we can concentrate in our daily activities. Fitness is very important. Our body is like a temple and each individual is a caretaker of this temple. There are many ways to keep this temple clean and fit on a physical and mental plane.
As a teacher i have different types of students in my class. Some are good in studies, some are good in sports,some are good in extra curricular activities. I try to relate myself to these three categories whenever I have to do an activity . I realized that when it comes to activities involving mind and some extra skills I am like one of those students who is good in academics and extra curricular activity . However when it comes to a physical activity I am like one of the students who is not good in academics in a class. I have always felt this whenever I joined classes like aerobics, dance, yoga wherein I will be among the students who fares badly compared to the others in their exams. This on a physical level is associated to fitness. By birth we are bestowed with some genes which we cannot change but we can always make an attempt to improve our lifestyle habits and compete with ourself to become better .
I was always on the skinny, lean side till my mid twenties. In fact putting on weight was a task in those days when my metabolism was perhaps at its peak. At mid twenties life got busy with a career, marriage, commuting, childbirth, stress and responsibilities that fitness took a backburner. The body is supple, strong, agile for another decade and although I knew that I am growing horizontally I did not bother much about the expanding waistline.
It was only when I hit my mid thirties that I actually paused and mulled to take control of my lifestyle to incorporate health and fitness as a priority. It has been my constant endeavour since past couple of years to take care of my health. Diet and physical activity is something I am particular about now. But, alas its a yo-yo type swinging between overweight to obese. :-((( whenever I have been unable to give time to physical activity.
Yoga has helped me to become flexible with little less stiffness in my joints and improved my breathing technique. Most of us do shallow breathing instead of abdominal breathing. The proper technique of breathing through abdomen is something I have become conscious about now.
I also try to squeeze out some time for walking and strength training whenever time permits. The most important knowledge apart from “what to eat is when to eat’. I am slowly becoming aware of this concept these days and try to incorporate it in my routine apart from keeping myself well hydrated. I normally neither sweat too much nor do I feel thirsty which makes me drink less water. I make it a point these days to keep sipping water often.
Starving oneself to shed the adipose layers is also a mistake as the metabolism goes for a toss. Our body needs calories input even to perform the basic activities like breathing, repair of tissue, circulation, digestion when it is at rest which is called the BMR ( basal metabolic rate) so we should not deprive the body of food thinking it will help in shedding weight. I try to keep this in mind. 80% diet and 20% exercise is the secret for a healthy and fit body.
Getting some basic tests done on an annual basis is important to keep a check . The annual health check up in a way helps me to keep a check and monitor my health parameters.
I came across this once-“If we do not make time for exercise now we will probably have to make time for illness later ”
It is important to find time in our already packed schedules to allot some time for exercises as the benefits are plenty in the long run. My parents generation was not aware about how important it is to find “me time” but my geneartion is aware about “me time” concept . So I believe in using this ” me time” to work on my health both on the physical and mental level . Sleep and rest are also important for the body so as not to increase the cortisol levels that causes weight gain .
Avoiding junk food, sugars, aerated drinks, deep fried items, white flour (maida), greasy food, frozen food, tetra pack juices are some of the food habits that I am very particular about. I am particular to use good cooking oil medium like saffola which is good for the heart.
People lose weight without realizing that it is very important to lose fat and not muscles. I am trying to keep this in mind that my exercise and diet regime should target at fat loss and not in muscle loss as both show reduction in weight on the scales
I am trying to remain healthy by following a structured diet along with correct physical activity five times a week. I believe that ” health is wealth” .
Taking care of our temple (body) should be one of the priorities in today’s busy lifestyle to avoid the lifestyle diseases to rule us.
Bombay is a city of dreams. For me too it was, it is.
Although Politically its called Mumbai now, for me it will always be Bombay- as that was how it was called when I moved to this city to build my dreams.
I spent nearly two decades in this city. I came to this city as a young girl in my early twenties when I got a job. This Metro city has a magnetic effect. Whoever comes here gradually falls in love with the city inspite of it being called fast paced. She takes into her arms every one who comes to her , and gives an experience of warmth, struggle, love, independence, exposure and the various other ingredients that are required to experience life.
Its a city for everyone- for the rich as well as the poor. I have always felt that she has a beat, a rhythm, a pulse to her. She is a city who never sleeps.
She gave me – my first job, my first house, my first love, my bundle of joy , friends, an experience and exposure which taught me so many things in my life. As I started loving the city immensely there came circumstances because of which I had to relocate to another city. I think relocation is not the word- uprooted would be an appropriate word.
My heart was torn. I felt very sad too . Although I moved to another city which is equally very developed but my heart does not belong here.
This was the time I came across the book ” who moved my cheese”? by Dr Spencer Johnson and it helped me to deal with change in life, It taught me how to adapt to change, how to look at life beyond the comfort zone.
Well, after moving to another city, I try to look at the positive side that the city has to offer me. I did learn couple of things here . I just hope change leads to something better and I manage to fall in love to the new place too.
For my blogger friends who understand hindi- this is the song which is very apt for me when I started my life after marriage in Bombay
” do diwaane shahar mein, raat mein yaa dopahar mein
aabodaanaa dhoondhte hai, ek aashiyaanaa dhoondhate hain”
Hope and Uncertainty go hand in hand. This term ” Uncertainty” is definitely a heavy word. In the journey of life at different stages of life, there does come a time when one is not sure about the future, a fear somewhere resides in some corner of thelife goes on. One tries to do what one thinks is best at that point of time. And when ones wishes are fulfilled its a nice, beautiful feeling.
Sometimes it does happen that, what one may think is best for oneself , God does not think that way, as HE has a different plan chalked out and when that happens , its a tough time. Hoping against hope one has to tread the difficult, dark path waiting anxiously to see the light ahead in the tunnel of life.
I am always reminded about the time when we come to a fork point in life. Which path to choose be it career, studies, spouse, house, relationships, relocation to another city/ country , medical issues , etc sometime tear us apart giving stress . One then follows what ones heart/head/or others say with the cloud of uncertainty hanging over the head, leading each day with a SECRET desire that all turns out well with no REGRETS of the decisions taken , and with the LOVE , support of family at HOME, friends, associates, we TREASURE we take each day as it comes.
I strongly believe that “LIFE IS A BOX OF UNCERTAINTY AND HOPE”.
Whenever I have faced UNCERTAINTY in my life . I like to remember these lines that I came across once to give me comfort
The water falls from the hills,
it never thinks it has fallen,
it rises to run as an Unstoppable river.
Life is not about falling.
It is about rising at every fall
How rightfully it is said that childhood memories remain with us for a lifetime .It becomes a part of us and we hold on to the good memories with great fondness.
I have always associated the word journey with a “Train journey” since for me as a kid holidays meant visiting our native place and the journey to the native place down south meant travelling by train for two days.
Today as I am keying in , once again my mind is flooded with the beautiful memories of travelling by the great Indian Railways. I loved to watch the changing landscape as the train chugged from one state to another. The dry arid regions, the lush green forests, the changing terrain, rivers flowing with current,the dry river beds, farms with crops swaying in the breeze , the night sky with millions of twinkling lights from the houses all visible in a single journey of 2 days!!.Isn’t this someway similar to the changes that occur in this “journey of life”?
As a young girl I would love to watch from the window the view after the sun went down and the night set in . As the train would speed ahead , no change in terrain would be visible except for the tiny innumerable lights that dotted the land ( light bulbs from houses) with cool air touching my cheeks. I would wish for the view to continue without a change. But that is not possible. Similarly only the good times cannot continue in life too I guess.
I spent my early growing up years in Allahabad and Delhi. Those were the days when vacations were meant to be enjoyed, play outside with friends instead of attending summer camps. We were actually like donkeys set free without any burden of studies during the entire summer holidays.
I have very fond memories of my summer vacations when we would visit our relatives house and Thatha, Patti & attai’s ( Dada, Dadi & Buaji) home in South India. Travelling by train all the way from Allahabad or Delhi to Trichy involved changing trains at Madras , ( I would not prefer to write Chennai but would instead write Madras as that is what it was called then!) and taking another train for the onward journey to Trichy. It used to take three days to reach our grandparents home.
As kids the “chook chook gadi ” travel excitement would commence the day the tickets were booked. We are three siblings and we would immediately announce as to “I will sleep on the upper berth” . The one who announced first would always want the upper berth . There would also be announcement of ” window seat for me ” !.
The ticket used to be of thick cardboard and small in size , ( like the one that pops out in a coin operated weighing machine in a railway station ). It was also a time to look forward to weighing oneself in the coin operated machine at the station and read the forecast with an actor/ actress pic on one side. That card that would come out of the machine mentioning the weight will be preserved by us!!
A surai ( earthen pot) too would be a part of our luggage . Travel was by normal non ac coach and we never ever felt of cribbing or grumbling about the heat.. Amma would carry idlis with molaga podi smeared on it, lemon rice,tamarind rice, curd rice, vadams ( homemade fryums) and pickles in a stainless steel carrier. The food used to be consumed in the order of their shelf life . From the second day it was food available in the different stations that were bought. Water was refilled in the surai in a station. When we drank water Amma would say” please do not sip the glass”
We never bothered about using a hand sanitizer, dettol soap or mineral water. Life still went on without any illness.We would play a game of cards, ludo, snakes and ladders . The co- passengers too would become our friends and play with us. A bonding happened during the course of the journey.
I loved to watch the changing landscape as the train chugged from one state to another. Somewhere without our realizing it a learning process was happening simultaneously. We were actually visualizing the physical features of the land , be it plains,rocks., rivers, plateaus, valleys,vegetation and like a sponge every detail would be getting lodged in our memory.
Even we learnt about food, snacks, fruits that were special to a particular place when the vendors would hop in to sell their items at different places. It was also a learning about the different outfits worn by different people in India during our journey from north to south or even vice versa.
Getting to learn how to use the Railway timetable book was fun. We would keep asking Amma and Appa as to ” Which is the next station ? We learnt about big stations being called as ” junctions”.We would pass by tunnels,rivers, thick vegetation. , bridges.Throwing coins into the river was another fun activity that we looked forward to. The innumerable trips up and down the ladder would be so thrilling when trying to reach from one level of berth to another.! Amma would say ” Be careful, lest you break your bones at the begining of the journey!!. “
It was a time to bond, learn, spend more time together , play, watch the world outside.The ” Jayanti Janata express” ( Allahabad to south) and ” The Grand Trunk Express” ( Delhi to Madras) have left their imprint in my mind.On nearing Madras , we would sing the song ” Madras nalla Madras” & would keep asking Appa as to how much more time was left for Madras central station to come.
Our relatives would be waiting at the station to receive us and would give home food packed for our onward journey to Trichy. Sometimes it even meant changing station in Madras.We would bid goodbye to the surai in the train itself which had helped us in giving chill water to quench our thirst in the summer heat. From Trichy it would be a bus or bullock cart to the village where my grandparents stayed.
“Tea” sounded this way ” chaaya , chaaya ” & also for some soft drinks it would be “coool drinks , coool drinks ” with a tring tring sound made by the bottle opener on the glass bottles.! There is lot to write if one starts remembering the travel experiences by good old Indian Railways !! A Coolie also was an integral part of our journey as we would always lot of luggage . Having graduated from trunks & holdalls to suitcases & now with further graduation to strolleys , a coolie’s assistance in carrying luggage is not availed by everyone anymore. He would walk fast with luggage on his head and someone was required to match his steps to trail behind him.:-)).Amma would say “Keep an eye on him as he will walk fast” . Searching for our name in the chart stuck near the door of the coach was another thing to look forward to! During teenage years apart from our names one would also try to look at the chart to check if someone of our age group or a youngster was a copassenger!!
We never felt the journey tiring or boring. These are memories that are etched in my mind and I cherish them.
At the same time it sometimes makes me wonder if the current generation is missing something like this? Because for them vacations and travel both have taken a new different meaning!!
Travelling as a family was so much fun.Not that travelling now is not fun with my family, kid . But there is a difference- I am a parent now with a kid. The role reversal is definitely very different I believe.In this journey of life I do intend to undertake more fun filled journeys with my loved ones .I can definitely be a kid at heart if not by age to relive those moments of childhood once again!!
Memories are what we hold onto with fondness. Ganesh Chaturthi puja celebration is something very close to my heart . As per our Hindu tradition I pray to all the Gods and Goddesses, but Lord Ganesha holds a special place in my heart. The festival of “ Vinayakar Chaturthi “is one which I enjoy the most. The elephant headed God is widely worshipped as the supreme God of wisdom, prosperity & good fortune. My first shloka that I learnt was also on Lord Gajanana. “Gajananam bhoota ganadi sevitham…..”
My parents have left me with memories of this festival for a life time . Appa would take clay from our garden and make the idol of Ganesha .We would be excited to watch Appa make the idol, then sticking our sticker bindis for eyes, rice grains as tusk, a sacred thread too would be placed on the idol !! As a kid we would be given the job of rolling out the tiny balls for “ammini kozhakattais” (Kozhukattai are rice flour dumplings that are steamed, cooked and tossed in a tempering to make this Ganesh chaturthi snack).
It used to be a super fun activity , the more we roll, the more we get to eat!!
The jaggery & coconut modakams were something we would gobble up so fast .The entire process would be a real bonding time for the family. Amma would make so many yummy items for the Lord. During Puja time Amma would say to us kids, “ Pray for good health, wisdom to the Lord!”
We would be waiting for the aarti , so that post offerings we could feast on the yummy modakams, salted kozhakattais, vadais, appams, ammini kozhakattais, payasam (kheer). In the evenings when we would go out to see the different pandals, our eyes would want to catch a glimpse of the moon. As per the story Amma had narrated she had told us not to look at the moon on that day!!
The clay ganesha would finally find its way back to the garden.
Apart from that visiting the various sarvajanik pandals of Ganesha always added to the charm. Visiting friends houses who bring in Lord Ganesha is also something to look forward to .During school days I used to have a pact with Ganesha too especially whenever I wanted some favour!!. Super brain yoga posture was always for this Lord whenever I wanted good marks in my exams. The numbers would vary from 12 to 108 !!
There used to be a Ganesha temple close to my college and I would often visit the temple and maybe that is how my fondness for Siddhi Vinayaka grew. I moved to Mumbai soon after college when I got a job and again there was a tiny Ganesha temple near my house. I bumped into one of my friends ( who is now my husband) in a Ganesha temple on a Ganesha Chaturthi day !!!
The making of different Kozhakattais , modakams etc is something I look forward to even today as an adult. My husband & son are entrusted with rolling ammini kozhakattais. My little one will compete with his Appa to do a better job in rolling the tiny balls. These days we hardly sit cross legged on the floor & this is one task for which they sit in the kitchen cross legged & my son will say “ Amma , my legs are aching”, to which I will reply –“Bear the pain for Ganesha & he will surely be happy with you & shower you with blessings!!”. Its real family fun time.
Vinayaka Chaturthi celebrations has its own charm. Lord Vakrathundaya’s arrival is special as its after the onset of rains. There is greenery all round. The entire place is clean & free of dust. Vinayaka seems to be saying, “I will arrive once the entire city & vegetation has been cleaned up after receiving the heavenly showers !! ”
It feels nice to participate in the building Ganapati puja celebrations. It is a very nice feeling as if Ganesha is amidst us. There is an air of festivity all around. I look forward to the morning & evening aarti time. It is also the time to wear saris, to have a look at all the lovely colourful saris & other outfits clad by others. The Mahaganapati Homam is a time when the chanting of holy mantras seem to bring positive vibrations around. I feel lucky to have learnt sanskrit while at school. I never liked the studying of third language while in school. But since I can understand, make out a little meaning when the shlokas, mantras are being chanted, I find it enjoyable. I thank my school for having introduced sanskrit.
The prasadams that we get after the evening puja are something I love. The quantity served is quite sufficient & filling as there is no need to prepare dinner. And, yes if someone in my family does not relish all that then it is time for DIY in the kitchen for them.!!!
On the Ganapati visarjan day a part of my mind would want time to tick slowly so that Ganesha could stay a little longer. As we bid goodbye to the Vignahartha I know I would be missing him all the more when I would see the place where he was sitting blessing one & all.
“Ganapati Bappa Morya , pudachi varsha laukarya”.
It’s almost twenty one years since Appa left us. He left home never to return back when a tragic accident snatched him away from us .When a hale and hearty , lovable , one’s hero , a very active person suddenly leaves us it’s very very difficult to digest and come to terms with the sudden loss .
Two decades ago I was not even aware that something called ” father’s day” is celebrated world wide.
There are so many things I fondly remember about my first hero in life. He was a self made man. Coming from a very humble family background he worked very hard to rise to a very high position in the corporate world. There was a fire in his belly to excel in whatever he chose to do. He was very meticulous , dynamic and a very honest man.
My parents have given me a wonderful childhood and I have umpteen number of beautiful memories of my growing up years. Although he was strict and a disciplinarian, he was also very friendly , loving and caring. He wanted his daughters to shine in academics and be an all rounder in other activities too. He introduced us to badminton, carrom board, tamil film songs, devotional light music, good movies, books, gardening, table tennis, access to library, photography, chanting shlokas, travel, comfortable journeys by road, rail and air. He taught us to ride a bicycle and the two wheeler. Whenever we took part in extra curricular activities he helped us in drafting with the poem recitations, speeches and debates.
There was never a dull moment with Appa around.He was a good singer, was good in drawing, appreciated good prose, poetry, music and dance. He would also enact some bharatnatyam songs with his hand gestures and facial expressions and would try to explain the meaning behind the beautiful lyrics. I still remember his all time favourite bharatnatyam dance song ” madhavi pon mayilal” sung by T.M. Soundararajan. He introduced us to the world of tamil music through T.M. Soundararajan and poet Kannadasan’ s songs which were rich in meaning.
He was an all rounder for us who guided us at every step in life.
He had travelled around the globe and believed in ” be like a Roman in Rome”. Coming from an orthodox south Indian family his views changed because of being posted to different places within the country
Whenever we visited a new city he would take interest in showing us around the city. The two things he was particular about were rising up early in the morning and scoring good marks. We as kids would often grumble about it . He believed in the power of education and wanted his girls to scale heights. I could see the pride in his eyes for his daughters whenever we won a competition, secured admission in a good college, came out with flying colours in exams.
We had lots of Jasmine flowers in our garden. He would personally pluck the flowers with so much care for us. Amma would string it for us to be pinned on the hair.He always helped my Amma in kitchen and in few household chores. Once in a while he would cook and let Amma relax. We are a family of three daughters and since we always saw our Appa lending a helping hand to Amma, the very concept of boys or males not helping in household activities was alien to me and my sisters. We have been fortunate enough to have a beautiful upbringing and we were always given the freedom to express our views.
Appa was religious and had immense faith in the Almighty. After he met with the tragic accident we were very very angry with God. Circumstances they say change a person. Me and my two sisters started questioning so many things. After facing the turmoil and tough times along with Amma, we in a way have become less emotional when we see people cribbing for trivial issues. We started questioning some of the superstitious rituals that are followed. Yes, maybe people think that we are outspoken and not as submissive as girls are expected to be.
Appa passed away within six months of my marriage. It was a big blow. Newly wed girls normally celebrate all the festivals with so much enthusiasm within the first year of marriage . Somewhere the looking forward to celebrate festivals lost charm within me. He could never play with his grandkids too.
It took time to come out of it. I still have a letter that I wrote to him in heaven , a year or two after he left us informing him about how we are dealing with life without him. I realized that at least I could enjoy and experience the relation of a father till my early twenties. There are so many in this world who might not be as fortunate as I was . I reconciled myself taking it as God’s plan.
Memories are finally what is left behind . Thankyou God for blessing me with such lovely parents. I firmly believe that my Appa is blessing and guiding me in each and every step in life. I hold him close within my heart and he will remain there to walk with me throughout my life until we meet again.